Dearest Partner. By Joel Askasi.

Dearest Partner, I am Mrs Sonia Alafinja from Ivory Coast. I am a widow being that I lost my husband a couple of months ago . My husband was a serving director of  the Cocoa exporting board until his death . He was assassinated last january 2011 by the rebels following the political  uprising. Before his death he deposited some money in one Bank organization here in Burkina faso the amount is to the tune of $7.5M. According to my late husband, the money is meant for unward transfer  to his partner for the importation of cocoa processing machine. I have plans to do investment in your country, like real estate and industrial production. This is my reason for writing to you. Please if you are willing to assist me and my only daughter Samba, indicate your interest in replying soonest. Thanks and best regards. Mrs Sonia Alafinja You're really trying to pull at my heartstrings "Sonia", with yet another novel-esque tale of assassination, political espionage, exotic and foreign locations and cocoa! I'll be sure to forward this onto James Bond. Unfortunately you have failed to offer me anything except for maybe a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart, knowing that I have assisted some scam artist fulfill his dream of owning a fancy car with gold rimmed tyres. 4 Stars Out Of Ten.

Bracelet. By Laurel Rhoades

Hello Blue
                
The watch of your vision has become reasonable today.
Don't hesitate. We do our best to satisfy our customers and ensure fast delivery and excellent service. If you receive a damaged watch we will ship another one to you free of charge.
                                                                                      
******
Today I received my two watches. Both watches were spectacular, you guys did a wonderful job and I will definitely recommend you to all my friends!
Thank
                    Laurel Rhoades
******

Click here --->




Laurel, Laurel, Laurel! I'm not sure what illicit substance you smoked before the composition of this email, but it was definitely of the strong variety. The watch of my vision has become reasonable? I wasn't aware that I had watch for my vision, nor that it was at anytime unreasonable. But who am i to argue with someone who today received two watches, spectacular ones none the less. 


3 Stars Out of 10

Be a stud worshiped by girls. By Melanie Jack.

It is your fust time to try impotence drugs? Don’t give up if the first treatment doesn’t work.
                                                                
   Dear awa_steve,
                                     
Even if your sex life is already rich and fulfilling... Imagine you had a little more energy... if your erections stayed harder... or you could go just a little longer...
Or maybe you worry, when you climb under the covers, that you’re starting something you can’t finish?
Well, now advancements in natural medicine are making it easier than ever to promote a strong libido, firm, natural erections and enhanced desire.
                                                                                                 
Now thanks to this exciting natural breakthrough, you could get an erection “on demand” and when you do, sustain it long enough – and keep firm enough — to fully satisfy your wife in bed. Even if you’re in your 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s or older!

As a doctor, I’ve learned something over the years that may surprise you — age has very little to do with sex. There are men out there having the best sex of their lives well into their 80th year and beyond.
                                                                                                 
And those men have three key things in common that their sex starved friends don’t:
Hard, recurring erections...
Heightened desire and stamina...
And a reproductive system that could be functioning at the top of its game...
                                                             
   Lucky? You bet.
   
But you too could give your body the nutrients it needs to support your entire sexual health.




Fust off, I'd like to say that i was immediately drawn to this email. To be a stud worshipped by girls is certainly high on my priorities list, and I'm not even in my 80's or older. I do enjoy the light hearted tone of this email, it's probably the less clinical erectile disfunction email i have received. However this email isn't really of any use to me as i have no problems in that department. The only thing I worry about when i climb under the covers, thinking about starting something I can’t finish, is when I fall asleep half way through a novel.


7 Stars Out Of Ten.

Hello. By Samuel Smith.

Send Money Now!
(Suspicious looking link)

I like a scam artist who doesn't mess about. SEND ME YOU MONEY, no need to tell me why. I didn't click on the link as it appeared to be made up of random letters and numbers and something told me it would take me to a Russian website.


8 Stars Out Of Ten

PLEASE GIVE URGENT ATTENTION TO THIS EMAIL. By Solomon Adams.

Good Day,

My name is Mr Solomon Adams, A Manager in Accounting department in Banque Regionale De Solidarite (B.R.S). I have a business proposal in the tune of $10.5m, (Ten Million Five hundred Thousand only) to transfer into your account,after the successful transfer, we shall share in ratio of 40% for you and 60% for me.Should you be interested, please contact me immediately so we can commence all arrangements and i will give you more information on how we would handle the project.

Please treat this business with utmost confidentiality and send me the
Following:

(1) Full names:
(2) Private phone number:
(3) Current residential address:
(4) Occupation:
(5) Age and Sex:

Kind Regards,
Mr.Solomon Adams.

WELL IF YOU INSIST, MAYBE I WILL GIVE THIS EMAIL URGENT ATTENTION!!! I am getting a little bored with these scam emails, the constant promise of millions of dollars in exchange for my common sense. Adams promises me 40 percent of the ten million on offer, of course his share is 60 percent cause he's a greedy bastard, now considering this money doesn't exist, I'm more than happy to increase his cut to 90 percent. How generous am i?




3 Stars Out Of Ten.

ASIA PROMOTIONS. By Asia Promotions.

ASIA LOTTERY PROMOTIONS
AWARD NOTIFICATION

CONGRATULATIONS! Your email address has won as a result of your visiting various websites we are running an e-business promotions for. You have been approved for the payment of the sum of US$800,000,00 from the total prize of US$8,550,000.00. 

Your Winning Ticket Number. 490-143-3014
Your Serial Number. 214-56
Your lucky draw Numbers are. 2, 5, 9, 54, 49, 14 Bonus Number 59
Your INSURANCE Number: FLD718/470D/GMSA

Contact your claims agent immediately.

REYS CHU
FOREIGN SERVICES MANAGER,
BEIJING CONSUMER FINANCE COMPANY
TAOJIN LU,GUANGZHOU,CHINA.
*********


MRS.XE ZHOU
VICE PRESIDENT INT.PROMOTIONS


Here is another lottery theme junk email. Just to notify me that my email address has apparently WON, although i wouldn't describe an email address which is subjected to crap emails like this as a WINNER. This email confuses me, to many numbers not enough entertainment value. Although I wonder if any of those so called lucky draw numbers are worth using for the real lottery.


1 Star Out Of Ten

You Have Won 5000,000 USD. By The Australian Lottery Ofice.

Congratullations. Please Reply With Band Details.

This email is pretty much straight up and down, we want to scam you, but we're lazy about it. So lazy that they have failed to spell check the most integral word, BANK. I was tempted to reply back with some BAND details, like the name of our drummer, chords to one of our five songs and upcoming shows, but i was too lazy. The other thing is why The Australian Lottery Ofice, which as you've guessed doesn't exist, would be handing out large sums of money in US dollars. What's that, I've won? But I didn't even enter!! But I credit them for being so stupid and lazy it's amusing.


3 Stars Out Of Ten.